Erasing. Embracing. Making Space.

"only the things I didn't do   

crackle after the blazing dies."

Naomi Shihab Nye

There is a tiny eraser scratching, pushing, working hard to remove the last vestiges of 2013. Things left undone wait on my list and the eraser lunges to clear them away. Did I love well? No. Yes. Sometimes. Did I take French lessons? No... but in this time of closure the yearning tugs so strongly at my heart it produces magic in its wake. Sending an inquiry. Letting it go. Waiting for a response.

 

Letting go. Letting go. Letting go. The theme repeats again and again. Always we let go... the tiny eraser scurries to do its job and smooth my edges... to erase the shadows that linger.

 

Did I write my book? Yes. I wrote and rewrote, leaving the eraser jealous of the delete key that got to work so hard. The more form the novel took, the less need for erasure or deletion.

Did I travel? Heavens yes! Dayton in January. Tucson in February. Paris and Vienna in the spring. The Mediterranean. Spain. Paris again. Walla Walla. Portland. Fabulous!! The eraser looks at the calendar and asks: Where is my work?

Embrace instead of erase... even those moments when resentment or disappointment sneak in. Embrace.

Did I make the most of each passing day this year? Where did the time go? And what about my children's childhoods? My own? My husband's? Yours? All gone yet still with us. The tiny eraser is too small to remove the shadows of entire lives. And even though the calendar will turn over to a new year at midnight on December 31, the memories and experiences of the year will linger through our lives.

What would I erase if I could? Probably the days spent watching hours of Netflix, feeling blue, blaming it on jet lag or something else. A waste worthy of erasure? Yes, I think so. I see so little value in those sluggish, poor me moments.

And on a larger scale, I would erase resentments, jealousy, and comparison... the moments I felt 'less than' or 'superior to.' Oh what a pile that would make...

But moments of love, connection, and joy? Those I would etch in indelible ink... never ever to be erased.

In the end, I would gather the shreds left from my tiny eraser (and all the lists it attacked) and place them on an altar... honor them, thank them for their service, and set them ablaze in the night sky... offering their unique aroma back into the world, making space for the new year to begin. 

As you look back over the past year, what would you like to erase? Embrace? For what will you make space in the coming year? 

If I can help in any way, please let me know. In the meantime, here are some places I'll be hanging out in the coming months. Join me if you can!!