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live it to give it is all about love and connection. Being authentic. Living our lives and sharing it with others. Life is messy and so is this blog. Somedays my organized coach self shows up. Other days it's my vulnerable author. There's a mom that lives inside me alongside a wife, friend, creative muse, ponderer extraordinaire, and multitude of others. I'll introduce you to people who inspire me and offer a peek into my world that very likely intersects with your world. In other words, I will share life in its full, glorious mess with you. I'm honored you're here and I hope you'll come back soon!!  Cheers! Kayce 


Entries in Friendship (26)


Doses of Delight

“Nothing like talking about good and evil while walking along the beach watching herons.” ☺ Christine Paintner

Some days you just need a big dose of delight and that is just what got served up to me yesterday. My strong “Lucy instinct” wants to kick in and say, “Na na na na na na! I got to do something you didn’t do, “ but I will attempt to remain a little more civilized (or not) and simply say I had a fabulous day.

The day started with one of my favorite things: a ferry ride. An amazing sunrise filled the sky and burst through fluffy white clouds that only the day before had been heavy and gray. I stood on the front of the boat in the chill morning air and marveled at the sea, the fog and the golden turning leaves on the distant shores. My destination was Hood Canal and the hermitage of the lovely Christine (and this is where I say inside “Na na na na na na” ☺.)

We walked along the rugged shore for two hours, crawling over logs, steering around oyster beds, stepping lightly through hundreds of sand dollars and watching Tune with her keen sense of smell search out crab shells for her morning snack. The biggest dose of delight came as a surprise (as surprises are prone to do) when Christine’s foot disappeared ankle high into the wet sand. Then her other foot vanished and just as I reached out to give her a hand both my feet were simultaneously swallowed by the beach. My balance not being as good as my friend’s, I soon was tilted backwards and plopped down in the wet sand. We both burst into huge fits of laughter and for a few moments we were literally “stuck” in time before we were able to gain our composure and inch and pull our way back to solid ground. It was a glorious moment.

The day was filled with many more delightful moments, but I will stop before I move toward all out bragging ☺. Well, speaking of bragging, I must share just one more event….Yesterday was my daughter’s last school soccer game of the season. She is a Freshman and made the varsity team at her school (brag). The team has, however, not been known as the best team around (oh, well ☹). In this final game, they played the #1 ranked team who has not been beaten in several seasons (7 maybe?). Well, the tides changed yesterday and guess who scored the winning goal (the only goal, I might add…oops there’s that bragging again)? You guessed it…my beautiful, fabulous, talented, wonderful, delightful daughter!!!! Brag brag brag brag….Needless to say I was one proud Mom as I watched her grin from ear to ear and the team embrace her when the whistle finally blew at the end of the game.

Enough already. The sun is shining here today and it feels like another serving of delight. I wish you your own joys in the coming weekend!

Blessings and cheers!!

elliott bay photo by bill


What is Soltura?

Many of you who are regular readers may have noticed that about once a month, I disappear and go incommunicado for a few days. Where do I go, you might ask? Many would recognize that I have gone to Soltura, but not necessarily know what that means. So, today as I prepare to disappear again for a few days, I wanted to share my own little piece of “social action” where I see the world changing one person at a time. It is a challenge to describe, because I have never heard of or experienced anything so unique in my life. Soltura is the place I began to find healing for my soul and it is the place I go to be refreshed and restored as I pour my heart, time and energy into helping provide a space for others to either begin or continue their own personal journey.

So here’s a little bit of my personal history: While at therapeutic boarding school my then 14-year-old son went to his first workshop. My husband and I were subsequently invited to participate in our own workshop. Entering into the experience, I considered myself a pretty high-functioning individual who handled life’s ups and downs with reasonable “success”. I was very unaware, however, of how much I was just getting by and hiding behind defense mechanisms rather than fully participating in life.

Soltura gave me the space, the safety and the exercises to help me find my own best answers to the questions and roadblocks that stood in my way of truly knowing myself and therefore knowing the world around me. I came to know God in ways that I had never dreamed imaginable as I opened the door to new possibility. The tenet that I most admire and hope to live by is “Love God and love your neighbor as yourself.” What I have found is that if I do not know who I truly am I cannot love myself well and thus cannot love anyone else well; for I end up loving them exactly as I love myself which can be pretty crummy some of the time.

If you visit this website because you love Lucy and how she embraces life, you might be intrigued to know that I found Lucy (or she found me) through a Soltura workshop. I cannot imagine my life without her.

I have seen people from all walks of life experience Soltura…from Presidents of international companies to the abused mom who formerly slept in her car. Rich and poor. Ages 14 to 71. Addicts and teetotalers. Bold and timid. Christian and agnostic. Jews and followers of Zen. Businessmen and starving artists. Students and stay-at-home moms. People pushed by loved ones to get there and others seeking help on their own. I believe that Soltura is for everyone who desires to live life fully.

Soltura is where I go to work. It is where I go to play. It is where I go to be with God and be with friends and laugh and dance and be Lucy at her fullest. Soltura is a gift I am compelled to share with the world. I invite you to check out the Soltura website here. (The testimonies are really my favorite ☺.) Other posts are available here and here or check out the Soltura topics in my sidebar.

Anyway…that is where I will be from August 13-19. I’ll “see” you when I get back and pray you will come to find the Soltura of your life.




Coming from one whose primary medium of art (at least here) is the written word it can seem odd to say that it is not the words of life that count, but the moments. While reading Mark Nepo’s words today, “when I think of those who’ve taught me how to love, moments come to mind, not words,” my mind was flooded with moments (many of them from the last few days.)

A hug. A smile. A laugh. The simple words of “eagle, eagle, eagle!” as the majestic bird flew past the shoreline. My son and his girlfriend head to head on the beach looking like two carefree children studying the tiny crabs. An arm slung over my shoulder and a kiss on my forehead—feeling cherished as a child by the son to whom I am mother. A joke and laughter shared that I cannot recall the words. Sitting with friends around a fire. Breaking bread together. The splendor of flowers at the market filling the air with fragrance and beauty. A car full of teenagers spilling out and wrapping me in bear hugs before they went off to play. Fireworks. Hard work. Quiet moments.

Moments. It is not the words I will primarily remember about the last few days, but the moments. The moments I knew that God was speaking to me through the beauty and wonder and glory of the creation surrounding me and teaching me that I am beloved.

What are the moments that speak to you of love?


Friend Time

Hanging out with friends. Will check back in soon. Cheers!

"The greatest sweetener of human life is friendship. To raise this to the highest pitch of enjoyment, is a secret which but few discover." --Joseph Addison


Wide Open Space

“Somehow we manage it: to like our friends, to tolerate not only their little ways but their huge neuroses, their monumental oddness: “Oh well,” we smile, “it’s one of her funny days.” -- Fleur Adcock

The past couple of days have felt like “funny days” for me. Do you ever find yourself with so much wide-open space that you don’t know what to do? I have been known to find myself with entirely too much to do that I become paralyzed. But, how ironic is the notion that not having anything scheduled can be as much of a distraction as having too much? When I have a full schedule, I crave free time and now that I have days wide open before me, I crave a schedule. Julia Cameron says that artists actually need structure and many times must devise it for themselves by creating schedules in “lives that are too wide open to be productive.”

So, this morning I have taken Julia’s advice and following my morning pages I have attempted to bring some thoughts together, but I keep getting stuck. “Friends” has been a topic that continues to muddle around in my head. I love my friends. I miss my friends. And now I allow myself to be distracted about the absence of their presence. Silly girl.

I love the idea of treating alone time not as a space of loneliness but as a gift of solitude. I can relish the quiet. Choose my own music. Dance throughout the house if I like. For I have been given the gift of time. I get to decide what to do with it. What a luxury! So, why can I not settle in to that for now?

Still feeling a little silly and somewhat distracted, I have at least added a bit of structure to my day by making an entry here. It will be interesting to see how the rest of the day unfolds. (I wonder if this falls into the category of ‘little ways’ or ‘monumental oddness.’) Oh well.