When moving forward requires a step backward...

This morning I was pondering (as I’m often prone to do) and I started remembering the times "back before"...

before I’d published a book or hosted a blog under my ‘real’ name or become a whoop-de-doo “certified” life coach... back when I was an unvarnished rebel – a psychotherapist who was willing to blog – a spiritual person struggling with the church – a mom whose kids were driving her crazy... In the “back before,” I wrote. I wrote it all and didn’t worry about what others thought... {okay, I worried a little, but it didn’t stop me from writing or sharing.}

Back before my website got ‘official’ and ‘refined’... before my name began to show up on Google... before I started actualizing my biggest dreams... I wrote. Before an “expert” said, “Reflections don’t sell,” I reflected on everything without restraint. I wasn’t selling anything so there was no worry about others buying. Somewhere in there, however,  I bought into the notions that websites were supposed to look a certain way and blog posts always need to have a point... that to be a 'professional' I needed to appear and sound a self-assured way (always!) {ugh}  If that’s what I’m buying into, then what is it I am selling?

MY SOUL... when I hold myself back or make myself less than I am or try to perform according to someone else’s rules, I sell myself out every time.  Yes, Every Time.

In the old days “back before,” I wrote rambling verse and followed prompts for poetry. I pondered. I played. I found myself. I was messy and uncensored. I was clean and clear. I was “Lucy.” Do you remember her? Well, I do... and it’s time for me to move forward and welcome her back! 'Nough said!

Where are you selling out? What part of your soul are you longing to welcome back? What would it mean for you to dance, make love, write poetry, and live purely for the delight in doing it?